What I learned from my pants zipper

When you think about it, some of life’s most awkward moments can be blamed on the pants zipper.

When someone walks into a room and that sucker is down, it’s like a magnet for our eyes and no matter what we do, we can’t avoid looking at it.

Now if you know this person well enough, you can pull him or her aside, let them know about the issue and what they should probably do to correct it.

But if you aren’t that good of friends, admitting you were looking at his or her crotch can be a little strange. And of course if you don’t mention it, you’re just going to keep looking at it and feeling like more and more of a pervert each time.

Seriously, it’s nearly impossible for me to have a serious conversation with another human being when I notice a down zipper. It’s nearly impossible for me to think about anything else other than that person’s failure to properly dress him or herself. Yes, I’m an awful person like that.

Funny thing is, there are time when I’ll go hours with my own fly down, and never be the wiser.

Of course when I do finally realize it, a panic sets in and I immediately begin retracing my steps and wondering exactly how many people I’ve flashed my underwear at since my last trip to the bathroom. Should I start apologizing to the individuals in the office or just simply smack that reply-all button and admit my failure to be a proper adult all at once?

I don’t know about you, but I inevitably end up doing neither and instead just sit there anxiously awaiting someone to giggle and assume it’s because they now know I’m a grown man wearing Mr. Potato Head boxers.

If only I could see my zipper failures as clearly and quickly as I can see the zipper failures of others.

Of course my zipper is just like a lot of other aspects my life — I can clearly see the mistakes of others, but yet so often have a really hard time seeing my own.

It’s easy for me to see the mistakes of others and even easier for me to see the steps I think they should be taking to correct them. It’s easy for me to judge others like that and sometimes very hard to not start focusing on their faults.

But what I’ve got to remember is it’s just hard for them to see their zippers, as is it for me to see mine.

What I’ve got to keep in mind is it’s likely just as hard for them to see their mistakes and missteps, as it is for me to see myself stumbling around in my own mess.

And before I ever begin to approach someone else about their zipper, I need to think about how I felt the last time I was caught with mine down.

We’re all going to catch people in life with their zippers down and when that moment happens, let’s try our best to treat the situation with the same grace we hope to receive when we’re caught with our’s down.

— @TravisKWilliams


About travman44

I work as a reporter for a newspaper in southwest Virginia. I play as a writer specializing in deep thoughts on shallow, and occasionally not so shallow, subjects. I'm also a former history teacher, bible college alum, and lover of the NBA and kids' breakfast cereals. It's a delicate blend. -- @TravisKWilliams on Twitter
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