I’m not a dancer.
Outside of weddings, which by the way always require the playing of “Let Me Clear My Throat,” I’m probably not going to be caught cutting a rug anytime soon. Trust me, this is for both you and me.
Now I’m not anti dancing, I just think there is a time and place for it. It’s kind of like fireworks in that way. In the proper moment. they are wonderful. At the wrong time, say a random Tuesday at 2 a.m., they are just awkward and obnoxious.
As for dancing, one of the most appropriate times for it is after a touchdown, but unfortunately the NFL doesn’t agree anymore and so rarely do we get those sweet gems these days.
It’s sad really. I mean think about all those kids out there right now who aren’t outside practicing their best moves during backyard games. Think of all the kids who will never have an experience like this. (You only really need to watch the first 30 seconds, but feel free to enjoy the entire clip.)
Anyway, not only do I think touchdown dances are appropriate, I think they are down right Biblical. I give you the originally touchdown dance as performed by David, who was probably making up for not getting down when he killed Goliath. Granted, we have no real proof he didn’t pound out a little bit of the “Dirty Bird,” after slaying the giant and it just got edited out.
2 Samuel 6:
12 Now King David was told, “The Lord has blessed the household of Obed-Edom and everything he has, because of the ark of God.” So David went to bring up the ark of God from the house of Obed-Edom to the City of David with rejoicing. 13 When those who were carrying the ark of the Lord had taken six steps, he sacrificed a bull and a fattened calf. 14 Wearing a linen ephod, David was dancing before the Lord with all his might, 15 while he and all Israel were bringing up the ark of the Lord with shouts and the sound of trumpets.
They brought the ark into the city and David. appropriately, got down with some Ickey Shuffle.
Victory = dancing. Fact.
So with the NFL season on the horizon, I think the league has no choice but to welcome such sweet celebrations with no penalty. For the Bible tells me so, Mr. Goodell.
OK. On to 2013 predictions.
NFC Divisional winners: Redskins, Falcons, Vikings, Seahawks. Wildcards: 49ers, Giants.
AFC Divisional winners: Patriots, Bengals, Colts, Broncos. Wildcards: Texans, Ravens.
NFC title game: Falcons over Seahawks.
I think this is the year Matt Ryan goes from very good to great. That combined with the additions of Steven Jackson and Osi Umenyiora will push Atlanta to the next level.
AFC title game: Bengals over Broncos.
I’m a big fan of Andy Dalton, maybe to a fault, but him and A.J. Green should have a sick season. On the other side of the ball, the Bengals add James Harrison, who is a flipping nut, but the type of flipping nut you want on your side. Crazy gives you extra strength. Fact.
Super Bowl: Falcons over Bengals.
This game could very well be the first Super Bowl played in awful conditions because of it’s venue, the Meadowlands in East Rutherford, New Jersey. To be honest, I would love that. Who doesn’t love football in the snow? Lame people, that’s who.
I’ve seen first hand how Matt Ryan deals with bad weather. Yeah, I haven’t forgot that awful Thursday night in Blacksburg, Matty. Needless to say, he does well, which I think will be the difference when the game goes down this winter.
And now, more touchdown dancing. Forewarning, the music is kinda awful.